Growing Up, and the Strange Clarity it Brings

As children, most can't wait to grow up. There is so much independence and excitement associated with becoming an adult. Getting your driver's license. Dating. Getting a job. Graduating from high school, and after that, college. Moving out. Getting married. Having families. Too many kids are in a hurry to grow up.

I was among them for the longest time. But things have changed the closer I have gotten to all of these things. Getting my driver's license. Going on my first date with the boy of my dreams (or so I thought). Getting a job to pay for that oh so expensive orchestra tour. The excitement remains; the day I got my license, a part of me panicked, and the other part jumped for joy because of my first sliver of freedom.

Now, as I fill out college applications, get acceptance letters, apply for financial aid and scholarships, and buy my cap and gown, I realize how close I am to having to make the decisions of an adult. Compared to how I was a year and a half ago, I am nearly completely independent. If I need something, I drive myself to the store and pay for it with the money I earn. It's surprising how quickly one adjusts to these new experiences. I drive a car now as if I have been doing it my whole life. 

It's incredibly exhilarating, but is it really all that it is cracked up to be? That I don't know. I'm not quite to that point. But really, what is so glamorous about moving out and moving on? Why do kids look forward to it so much? 

I was never the kid who wanted to move away from home. I have always had a fantastic relationship with my parents, so moving out seemed heartbreaking when I was younger. However, as I have gotten more and more independence, I understand the want to get away from home. I crave adventure. I want to meet new people. I love the people I know now, but when you spend either six or thirteen years of your life with the same people, the need to meet new people is understandable. I want to try living on my own for a while. I want to live in a new place. I want to find myself. I want to fall in love with someone, and start a family eventually. I want to live my own life. 

But for now, despite the push to make so many decisions, and to grow up so quickly, I am going to hold onto what I have left of my childhood. I am going to go to every possible football, basketball, soccer, and lacrosse game that I can. When Christmas rolls around, I am going to participate in the activities they provide to support the charity. I am going to go to the school dances.  I am going to remember and cherish those silly moments in the hallways with the people whom I love. And dang it, I'm going to enjoy those horrible school lunches (as much as I can at least).

I only have so many of these moments left, so why waste them?

Cherish the moments you have now, as horrible as they may seem now. Don't dread school; look forward to it. You'll learn some of the most valuable things in those seemingly meaningless classes, and I don't mean what is in the curriculum. When the teacher goes off on a tangent, listen. You never know what kind of advice they will give you. No matter who it is, listen to your classmates when they talk to you, no matter how much you may detest them. Try your best to feel grateful for that minimum wage job you have. You will value the skills you learned, and the people you met, later down the road. When someone asks you on a date, don't turn them down; you never know how much you may come to care about that person. Don't start dating too early. As fun as dating may be, there is a certain heartbreak associated with it as well. Don't date someone just to say you did. When you get your license, be safe and be independent, but still give your parents the opportunity to drive you places, too. After all, you're still their child. Go to school dances. Dance and sing as if no one is watching. Do what you love, no matter who judges you for it. Respect your elders, especially your parents. When you move away, you'll be surprised by how much you miss them, and how much you wish you would have listened to them better. Hang out with your siblings; they'll miss you more than anyone else. 

Growing up has taught me what is important in life. In the long run, is whether or not I went to Prom going to be a big deal? No. But one has to live in the moment. Don't live in the past or the future. You can't see the future, nor can you change the past. So why not just live in the present? Why not cherish what is going on now? You have all of your life to be an adult. Enjoy and cherish what you have now.

Don't grow up too fast.